So I recently 'fired' my neurologist. He didn't take it well. It was the first appointment I had had with him for a while - over 18 months - and I went in prepared to tell him how opposed to him I was, after finding out that he has been conducting experiments on monkeys into Parkinson's Disease. He denied the accusations, on the basis that he didn't personally do the experimentation, ordering students to do it on his behalf, and argued that since they have the will not to participate, he could not be held accountable. I couldn't really argue with his reasoning, and continued to explain why I needed him to refer me to another doctor.
I told him that, after the past fifteen years of seizures controlled by medication to perhaps one or two per year, I have been having them every time I fall into a deep sleep since October. For a while it was every night, until I started setting an alarm to wake me every 45 minutes, which has controlled things quite nicely since, but left me tired and experiencing almost constant hallucinations of black and white tendrils seeming to lead from objects to their most likely destiny. I noted that I was unsure whether these symptoms were from lack of sleep or epilepsy, but added in jest that I could see how people with epilepsy sometimes think they have psychic powers.
'I see,' he said. 'So for how long do you believe you've had these psychic powers?'
If I hadn't come into the session planning on asking for a referral, I would have then. I made a point of explaining that I knew what I was seeing was little more than hallucination, and that I knew that I did not have any ESP, but he dwelt on the subject for so long. Finally he returned to the topic of the seizures. I explained that although they don't seem to be as severe as what I have experienced in the past, where I would be out of action afterwards for at least 24 hours, I knew the familiar after effects. He asked if anyone had witnessed one of the seizures, and when I told him that they haven't, because I am single right now and sleeping alone, he wrote off the incidents as bad headaches, and suggested painkillers.
I pointed out that on the nights I do allow myself uninterrupted sleep, I wake with bruises, cuts and scratches, and find inexplicable pools of blood in the bed and around the room. He did not consider this as important, though when I pressed him and insisted that I believed that I was suffering more than just headaches, he did send me for an MRI and EEG. It was only at the tests that I learned that he had ordered the results to be sent to him, even though I specifically stated at the conclusion of the appointment that this would be my final visit. He also refused again to refer me to anyone else, and told me 'Just because a doctor has fancy, inner-city offices doesn't make him any more qualified.' I asked the staff at the clinics to give me a copy of the results as well to take to my next doctor.
In the mean time, I have had messages on my machine from his assistant asking when I'd like to schedule an appointment to look over the results. It is somehow satisfying that I will be able to go to my new doctor with the confirmation that other people have now witnessed the seizures I've had while I'm asleep and proceed from there, and hopefully it will be someone who I will be able to gossip with about my ex-doctor. I guess for some doctors, breaking up is hard to do.